Wasup

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The Wall

Nathan (my youth pastor) spoke on Samuel tonight. He told us the story of David and Goliath and made some great points about facing giants in our lives. Sometimes when I look at the direction my life is going it seems that all I can see is the giant, the elephant in the room, all I can see sometimes is how bad I messed up. but then as soon as I see it and I know it I turn back around and do the same thing again. It's like I'm running in the wrong direction and I hit this wall of realization that I'm going the wrong way, and it hurts a lot to get knocked down when I run full speed into the wall. So i get up and i say, man I'm so stupid, God why'd you let me do that? couldn't you have just gave me a different direction when i turned back there? But of course I look back and say Oh...you did... So then I go back and try to walk the right way. But then the very next day there I am again running into the same stupid wall again, and I'm a little more used to God's wrath this time, so I just kinda whimper and go back, and then hit the wall, then go back and hit it again and again and again. Nathan showed how the Israelites were standing there for 40 days looking at the giant, and he was all they could see because they had forgotten how big God was, I'm in that same place looking out across the battle field at my giant. But then David came out and he was like "what??? why are you scared?" and they said, "he's big! and your the littlest person here!" and David was just all relaxed and goes "yeah but I have bigger friends." and he walks out and the giant laughs and says, "your little, what the heck are you doing? I'm to big for you to even hurt" but david knew where he stood and saw how small the giant was in the big picture. I think that if I can convince myself that the giants I face are as small as Goliath was to David then I can get past my giants as easily as David did. So hopefully the next time I'm running and I see the path that leads to that wall I'll remember that God has the right path right in front of me and i don't have to run into the wall again to find it, and it'd hurt less not to hit the wall again too...

Now What??

Today I'm struggling with a very important decision. I'm not sure what God want me to do and I am so in need of direction that I don't even know where to turn to find it. Some of my close friends have already heard about it, but if you don't know just pray that God would make his will in my life obvious to me. It seems lately that just when I think everything is going to be okay, and I feel like my life couldn't be better, something bad happens. I'm not sure what God is trying to teach me through all of this, but i wish i was a quicker learner cause the learning process sure hurts alot...